The Chug

Of all beer drinking techniques the plain chug is probably the most common for obvious reasons but many people are still bad at it. In my experience I have seen that there are 2 good ways to chug fast, one with a can, and one by pouring it in a glass.

CAN

Often a can is the hardest thing to drink very fast out of because of simple physics, when beer is coming out air must come in so the beer flows in a staggered way and dosen't come out very fast, in order to fix this there is one simple technique that can be done. All you need to do is take a shap knife (be careful with knives when intoxicated) and cut a small hole at the top of the can on the opposite side of the mouth. This will allow air to come in so that the flow of the beer can be smooth and fast.

GLASS

Drinking fast out of a glass is much easier and can be done much faster than a can even with the above trick.

1) First pour the glass as to avoid foam as much as possible, this will make is so you don't have to wait too long until you have to drink it.

2) If the beer is nice and cold then give it a couple minutes to warm up. Though everyone loves their beer cold (at least cheaper beers) it is much harder to chug a really cold beer, and can give you a painful brain freeze. Too warm is bad though too, it will taste terrible and will make a lot of gas while you drink it.

3) Once the beer is foam free and not too cold but still not too warm yet it is optimal to drink. This is pretty intuitive on the technique. Grab the glass, put it to your lips and tilt the glass up. The best way to drink it is to try and swallow just before the beer hits your throat, this way your throat will already be open and the beer will just continue its flow as it goes. Once you master this the only thing to do it just work to keep your throat open as long as possible, some people can do it for the entire glass, others have to take 2 big swallows to do it all, the idea is to learn to do it in one.

There you have successfully chugged a beer nice and fast. While the glass method is much faster, it is not nearly as convenient as the can so just do what you want and enjoy your time drinking. But enjoy intelligently, don't chug yourself to an Emergency Room.

The Beer Bong

The next technique that I would like to mention is how to do a proper beer bong, this one is pretty easy and foolproof, regardless, I have seen it done wrong far too many times.

1) get your beer bong, put your hand over end/thumb in end/ close valve. I would also like to add that I am a big anti-valve person, not only is it weak in my opinion, it also hinders the flow into your mouth and some of them can cause foaming.

2) now you fill the bong up with beer, pour it gently into the wall of the funnel trying to create as little foam as possible. more foam means it will take longer before you can actually drink that golden elixir.

3) once the bong is full and there is little foam left in the tube now you want to get the beer as close to the end of the tube as you can, this may mean lifting your hand slightly or venting with your thumb, valves tend to not need this because it is easy to fill the bong without having an air pocket. This is the part that people tend to mess up. any air that is left will be swallowed, and as with shotgunning, air pocket in the belly means beer will probably not stay down there.

4) now that you have this done you are to the easy part, grab the hose, put it in your mouth, unplug it and while someone gets the bong above your head, just let the beer flow down. If done correctly, with 2 beers or less you should be able to take it all down in 3 swallows or less. Experts at this can do 2 beers with one big gulp, keeping the throat open the entire time, it only will take about a second for it all to go away.


And now for a video example

Shotgunning

One thing I find that most people are terrible at involving beer is shotgunning, here I will explain the best technique possible to blow people away with you skills.

1) get s beer that is not too warm or too cold. too cold will hurt as you drink it and too warm will make you burp like crazy before you finish it, or possibly cause you to have an air bubble in you stomach which will most likely make you puke it all right back up.

2) hold the beer horizontally but on a slight angle, with the bottom being slightly higher than the top, then puncture the highest point with the tip of a knife/key and let the pressure escape, if you do this right no liquid will be spilled.

3) after the pressure escapes, make you hole bigger, i personally find it best to cut a triangle with the base at the bottom of the can, then push the triangle you made into the can, and remember the bigger the hole, the more beer will be able to come out per unit time.

4) at this point put that hole you just made to your mouth, while having your finger on the tab, put the can topside up and open the beer

5) the secret to a good shotgun comes at this point, granted that you do everything else correct. Take in one large suck like you are trying to chug water out of a bottle. After that gravity will take over and the beer will flow into you mouth and all you have to do is open your throat.

6) once you master the suck and opening your throat you should be able to do this in less than 2 seconds (and kick anyone's ass in a race.



And here is a good example of how this is done, but don't try the second part, I don't really know why anyone would think it is a good idea in the first place

here are some fun facts about beer

- Beer is nutritious if consumed in moderation, and delightful if consumed in excess

- Beer is fat-free and cholesterol free, and heavenly

- Beer has a relaxing effect on the body thereby reducing stress, and inhibitions

- It can help you sleep better

- It helps prevent heart disease and improves the blood circulation, and give you energy

- It has proven to have positive effects on elderly people. It helps to promote blood vessel dilation, sleep, and urination.Especially urnination